I do, I do!!! My last radiation treatment will be November 4th. Whoohooooooo!!!
So six left. Doable, I think.
There's some confusion about when the surgery will take place. The Fry Doctor thinks 4-5 weeks after chemo is done, and the chemo doc thinks I can include two weeks of chemo into that rest time. I suspect it will depend on what the surgeon prefers.
I'm not sure how I feel. On one hand, let's just get all this shit done and over with. Please. But then again, I've mostly opted NOT to think about surgery at all, or the outcome. My rational mind knows the tumor and surrounding tissue (ie my rectum and anus) need to come out. Is it stupid that I keep thinking about missing my anus? I never thought I'd be all weepy about my anus. I mean, it's there, it's doing its job. We don't argue, my anus seems to be a nice, um, organ? Muscle? It seems kind of...sad that I won't have it anymore. And scary. A whole new lifestyle has been dumped into my lap out of nowhere.
It's not that I don't think I can handle business. I know I can. Despite my last few weepy, feeling sorry for myself days, I'm tough. I am absolutely going to keep on keepin' on. This whole thing has been like walking through a dark tunnel. There are twists and turns and ambushes, most of the time I feel like the flashlight flickers and cuts out too much. I want to get to the light at the end of the tunnel, of course, but what will the ramifications be exactly? That's what can be really hard sometimes.
Anyway, overall, it's awesome news that I'm for sure almost done. The Fry Doctor mentioned that I should watch out for peeling skin around my anus. Well, isn't that guy just so full of fun and happy news?? It apparently happens in about 20% of the rectal cancer patients he sees. Since I'm such an aloe fanatic these days, perhaps I'll escape that side effect too. The diarrhea is bad enough, thanks.
Speaking of, the Fry Doctor again talked about ways to control the disgusting mess coming out of my ass. He mentioned the BRAT diet, and kind of laughed and said, "And I don't mean brats." As in the meat. At that point I was thinking more about getting to the bathroom than his corny jokes. He's such a card.
And I'm already feeling better and I've only had two doses of cipro, so that's good too.