Sunday, October 25, 2009

Sunday night

I'm staring down what I really really hope will be my last full week of radiation. The weekend was, hmmmm, okay. After parking myself on the couch for most of Saturday, I felt somewhat more rested today. The diarrhea backed way off, so of course things have swung the other way. Anyone else tired of hearing about my bowels? Because I know I'm tired of this ridiculous balancing act.

I don't always know what to say when people ask me how I am. On one hand, I feel greatful that I have people in my life who do ask, who genuinely care about how I'm doing. On the other hand, I honestly don't know what to say. Should I say, "Well, my vag is itchier than hell and my ass burns, but other than that..." How much do people really want to know? So I usually choose to go with a safe answer, "Oh, I'm hanging in there, mostly just tired." That's true too. Maybe it all stems from people not knowing what to ask and me not knowing what to say. It must be super freaky to know someone like me with cancer. I hang with moms with young kids, and it's scary to think that cancer is a possibility.

And yet it's still so great to see people that I used to see on a more regular basis. And maybe it's good for them to see me too, that I'm still plugging away, that like someone said today, I'm still Sheri. I'm still cracking smartass jokes and laughing and living.

I'm hoping for this week to go by super fast, if only so we can get to the Halloween candy on Saturday. :)

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