Monday, October 12, 2009

So I read a lot of cancer books. I know, they make me irritated most of the time, but perhaps I'm a glutton for punishment. There is good information in some of the books I've found. One book has personal stories interspersed with the information, especially on the subjects of side effects. I read that this one woman imagines hundreds of angry bees stinging away the cancer while she has her radiation treatments.

Bees? Let's think this through. The tumor is in my rectum. Forming a mental picture yet? Do I really want to think about hundreds of bees in my rectum? And of course today during my own treatment, this was all I could think about. Ahahahahahahaha.

I prefer to think about radiation as lasers. You know, Austin Powers Dr. Evil lasers. I think Dr. Evil's lasers would be millions of times more powerful than bees. And who wants to think about an assful of bees?

Here's some TMI for you (warning! I'm going to talk about lady troubles! Men, look away! I mean, only if you want to.):

I totally got my period over the weekend. After all the promises that I wasn't going to have a period during treatments, and possibly never again, I was a little miffed. Apparently my uterus is stubborn and will do what it wants. I found that interesting. Now it could be a matter of timing. I was due for a river of blood anyway, if I'm counting from the mini freakout period I had right after my diagnosis. I was on the weekend treatment retreat, and I'm only 8 treatments into radiation (that's 1/4 of the way done, if you're counting, which I am). I prefer to think of it as my body saying a big Fuck You to cancer, and reassuring me that it's doing everything it can to fight back and all the while doing business as usual. Awww, thanks, body! I'll eat some broccoli for you later!


So yeah, side effects. I should start a betting pool, like one of those weirdo square boards with the football scores on them. You know, like a grid? I don't pretend to understand how those things work. That's what I feel like, waiting for side effects is like rolling dice. What's going to come up? And the harder question, what am I most leery of rolling?

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