Sunday, September 20, 2009

Well, thanks Thomas Harris

"We rarely get to prepare ourselves in meadows or on graveled walks; we do it on short notice in places without windows, hospital corridors, rooms like this lounge with its cracked plastic sofa and Cinzano ashtrays, where the cafe curtains cover blank concrete. In rooms like this, we prepare our gestures, get them by heart so we can do them when we're frightened in the face of Doom. Starling was old enough to know that; she didn't let the room affect her."

Ten points if you know where this quote is from....and go!! Don't be shy, there's a HUGE clue in there. ;)

The first time I saw Silence of the Lambs was either 7th or 8th grade at a sleepover birthday party. I'm leaning towards 7th grade. It doesn't really matter which, because I was waaaaaay too young to watch that and it scared the shit out of me. I think that was the same summer I also saw Candyman. What was wrong with us preteen girls, watching such freaking scary movies?? While I will be just fine never watching Candyman again, Silence of the Lambs is one of my favorite movies, and one of my favorite books as well. I've read it a bunch of times, it's possible I read it twice a year (maybe more). I know, I'm a freak.

When I read something though, I tend to read it really fast at first to find out what happens. Then if I liked the story enough, I'll go back and read again and again for details, things I missed, or just for enjoyment. Silence of the Lambs is one of those books that is so rich that you can read it again and again and find something new everytime. And this time around I happened to find that quote.

Thomas Harris is right. So often you don't get to prepare for life's happenings. Wouldn't it have been nice to find out about my diagnosis in a more peaceful way, maybe ahead of time? To have someone I trust take me on a calm walk and break the news gently, maybe give me some information, and let me know that in a couple years I'll be dealing with this, and to take time to prepare? Why is it that so often bad news comes from strangers in unfamiliar surroundings while you're laying on a table with your pants around your ankles?

Nothing against my doctor. He was so nice, and so apologetic and so awesome. But still. I didn't know him from Adam before two weeks ago.

So that's what I have to do. I have to get the information, make decisions, get myself and my family ready in the face of something frightening that I'm still coming to terms with.

Isn't it funny how such an unrelated book can have such a relavent quote?

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