It's been a good weekend. My SIL and BIL stopped by on Friday bearing gifts of food. Scones? Excellent. I love the icing, which I'm usually too lazy to make for my own scones. Sweet potato pie? It was called better than pumpkin and requests were made for it to make a reappearance at holidays by my onmi parents. You know you did good when the omnis are all over it. So way to go, Sarah!!! I'm sure the soups will be fantastic as well.
So my parents are here, hanging out. My dad made a spicy sweet potato soup for dinner, along with garlic bread. The soup involved a trip to Woodmans, and it's always a blast to take people to that crazy place for the first time. Who knows what I'm talkin' about? My mom and I went to a Passion Party. Good times, man, good times. And the friend who hosted the party always has the best vegan food.
But it's Sunday, and I'm feeling anxious. Tomorrow is Monday, and hopefully the radiation office will call and we can get appointments figured out and just get this shit started already. I'd complain about waiting, but if you look at the date of my diagnosis, it hasn't been that long. Not even a full month. I get weird though because I know it's there, teh cancer, growing in my ass. I don't want it there (obviously). So let's get rid of it, right? Right.
I've been thinking a lot about all the things I've done in my life that required strength. My thought is that if I pull bits and pieces from those experiences I'll have enough to get through this. Wow, how many times have I had to step up, either to take care of myself or others? Really rough times, like the internal collapse of the school where I worked, dealing with life after that car accident, working through family troubles when I was younger. So often I've turned in on myself, written about my problems the way I'm doing now (I have stacks of journals, literally). It takes a chunk of wisdom to know when to turn to other people for support, help, or just a hug, especially when you're used to taking care of business yourself.
I so often don't know what to say when people ask me how I'm doing. Snappy answers like, "I'm fine, aside from having cancer" are right on the surface, but it doesn't always seem appropriate to answer that way. Of the 1001 emotions I'm feeling, which one am I supposed to pick? "How are you?" That's such an automatic question, so I'm not bothered when people ask. I just hope they understand when I don't know what to say.
Enough musings for today. I have a whole day ahead of me. Last night I mixed up what are possibly the best pancakes ever in the history of the world. You have to plan ahead for these because they need to rest overnight. My parents will be here until afternoon, and it looks like it's going to be a nice day. Go enjoy it people! I know I will. Snatch those good days up and hold them close because you don't know when you're going to get thrown a really bad day that will change your life.