I've become a phone person. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Really, I've talked on the phone more in the past few days than I think I have in a month. If I keep this up, we're going to go over our minutes. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind. My mom calls to see how I'm doing. I talked to my sister for a long time today. An aunt who I love dearly and don't talk to nearly enough and I got a chance to chat.
The best phone call today though was from my very good friend and fellow LLL leader Maggie. She just wanted to check up on me, see if I need anything, and ask if I had any questions. She was on my list of people to call, because I did have a question about nursing after the colonoscopy next Tuesday. Then while explaining that I was down to twice a day anyway, I of course choked up and started crying. Then Maggie said, "Sheri, you're a good mom. You are really a good mom."
What? My kid is cranky and overtired because it takes so much longer for him to go to sleep without nursing. He's frustrated that he is being cut off of his biggest source of comfort. He's complaining he's hungry all the time because before this he nursed all the time and didn't eat all that much. So again I say, WHAT?
Maggie said I could have just weaned cold turkey (for those not in the know, this means basically just cutting a kid off, no warning, just done). Lots of moms in my situation have gone that route. Instead, I'm trying as hard as I can to balance my needs (chemo, etc) and his need to nurse and be weaned in as gentle a way as possible. And she's right. Her being right doesn't make our experience any less difficult. Breastfeeding has been a huge part of my life for the past 4.5 years, of course it's going to be hard.
My little guy is a trooper though, and we're gonna be okay.