Sunday, February 21, 2010

Five and a half months. That's how long it's been since I found out that I have cancer. I can't believe how much my life has changed, how my body has changed. How did I manage to get through the past bunch of months? A lot of times I don't feel strong enough for this. I'm struggling to stay upbeat and positive, but it's so so hard. I feel like I don't have things to look forward to, fun things. It's hard to go places and do things I'm used to doing. I went to a birthday party yesterday and was exhausted after an hour. It was uncomfortable sitting in a strange chair, I was feeling kind of icky.

I don't know. I'm going through the motions because I have to. I told Eric yesterday that I keep going to the wound dressing appointments because people keep driving me. But what kind of a drag is that to look forward to? It sucks.

I will get to the end of all this shit. The journey is just bringing me down right now, that's all.

3 comments:

  1. Keep going through the motions, as painful and tedious as they are. You are on the right path, and getting better each day. I wish I could make things significantly better for you. Since I can't, I will just think about you and send you good thoughts every day. I will appreciate all the monotonous things I do each day as the privilege that they are. A privilege you will soon be able to more fully experience soon. That is both a promise and a threat.
    Love, Jehan

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  2. I miss the monotonous things I used to do every day so so much. So much.

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  3. You know what? It's okay to miss the monotonous stuff. It's okay to not want to be everybody's goddamned hero. IT'S OKAY JUST TO BE YOU, SHERI. I know it's tough (well, actually, I don't know) but man...just be you.

    Um, that's all I've got.

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