Monday, April 12, 2010

It's days like today when I really start to dread chemo Thursday. I feel normal today. I mean, as normal as one can feel with a smelly wound and a wound vac. I want to feel normal every day, not sick. At this point, the only reasons I'm still going are Eric and the kids. The kids deserve to have a mom for a long time, and Eric deserves to have his wife for a long time. Finishing my treatment is the best way to ensure that, my rational mind knows that. But man, I just don't want to do anymore. Having someone pump chemicals into your body that make you sick is about as far from normal as you can get.

Should I quit my whining? Lots of people have it worse than I do. Lots of people are struggling more than me. I'm lucky, I have a supportive husband, great kids, family and friends. So I'll focus on the positive, keep listening to my Lady Gaga and Black Eyed Peas and Eminem (among the other trash music I listen to, haha) and things will be okay.

Happy Monday, all!


  1. Keep on pushing will look back and know that you did EVERYTHING to beat this beast. I just celebrated my first anniversary (from chemo)and today I remain NED!!!! I feel better and stronger with each day. You can do this!!!!
    Debbie Dickens

  2. Sheri, You posted a helpful response to a post of mine on colonclub a few months ago. I just spent an hour or so reading through your blog and it's been helpful as I have stage III rectal CA and am just a few months behind you. I finished up chemo/radiation last week, will be having surgery (APR most likely - I have a low hanging tumor) soon, and then it's four months of chemo after that. So, your blog is like a window into the future for me. I'm glad I read it because I'm pretty sure I've been waaaay underestimating how much recovering from surgery is going to suck. Your spirit and positive attitude are very admirable. Keep it up!

  3. Welcome, Doug, but believe me when I say I wish you didn't have to be dealing with rectal cancer. Please know that your experience with surgery might be totally different (and better!) than mine. As I understand it, having a rectal wound that won't heal can happen but doesn't happen that often. Hopefully your surgery and recovery will go smoothly! Take care.