It's days like today when I really start to dread chemo Thursday. I feel normal today. I mean, as normal as one can feel with a smelly wound and a wound vac. I want to feel normal every day, not sick. At this point, the only reasons I'm still going are Eric and the kids. The kids deserve to have a mom for a long time, and Eric deserves to have his wife for a long time. Finishing my treatment is the best way to ensure that, my rational mind knows that. But man, I just don't want to do anymore. Having someone pump chemicals into your body that make you sick is about as far from normal as you can get.
Should I quit my whining? Lots of people have it worse than I do. Lots of people are struggling more than me. I'm lucky, I have a supportive husband, great kids, family and friends. So I'll focus on the positive, keep listening to my Lady Gaga and Black Eyed Peas and Eminem (among the other trash music I listen to, haha) and things will be okay.
Happy Monday, all!