I'm nervous about surgery. Freaked out. Sad.
I looked at the clock a little bit ago and realized that at this time in one week, I'll be done. If everything goes well, I will be in recovery by now. Hopefully I'll have Eric holding my hand, and we'll know for absolutely sure that everything is okay.
Why doesn't that thought make me feel better? Why can't I be okay with this? Why does it still make me cry?
I can't even pinpoint what's upsetting to me. Anesthesia? Having a tube down my throat? Having someone cut into me, cut parts out of me? Colostomy? Being in pain again? Staying in the hospital so long? Everything maybe?