From the CT report: "More visible lesions in right middle lobe extending to pleural surface with a region of linear density extending to pleural surfaces and pericardium in the right middle lobe. Small lesion in the lingula is slightly larger. Spiculated mass in the right lower lobe has grown from 14mm to 22mm."
I tried not to cry, I tried to be business like, to get to the bottom of things. I held it together for maybe five minutes. The doctor's face did it, pretty much. He was so obviously disappointed.
I wanted a break from Big Chemo so badly.
The doc first suggested changing things up completely and having me start FOLFOX and avastin. I don't want to do FOLFOX unless I absolutely have to. I hate it. He thought that maybe we could continue FOLFURI and try Avastin instead of Erbitux. So the plan at this moment is for the doc to consult with the oncologist from Atlanta and also with an oncologist he knows in Dallas. My doc will call me sometime on Friday and we'll figure things out. I have a tentative appointment to start chemo back up next Wednesday.
But hey, guys, my liver is totally fine!
I just don't even know what to think. I'm sad, of course. And frustrated. I knew this whole cancer thing wouldn't be easy. Right now I'm eating oreos and feeling sorry for myself.
Sometimes I wish I could peek at the end of the story to know why. What is the point of the struggles I have right now? Would it be easier if I knew?
Well, I'm going to find out how long I have to stay out of the pool if I get a tattoo really quick this weekend. And I'm also contemplating a high raw diet. And somebody needs to educate the children, I suppose. :)
I would appreciate positive thoughts and prayers.