Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Persistent pulmonary metastases.

From the CT report:  "More visible lesions in right middle lobe extending to pleural surface with a region of linear density extending to pleural surfaces and pericardium in the right middle lobe.  Small lesion in the lingula is slightly larger.  Spiculated mass in the right lower lobe has grown from 14mm to 22mm."

Sad face.

I tried not to cry, I tried to be business like, to get to the bottom of things.  I held it together for maybe five minutes.  The doctor's face did it, pretty much.  He was so obviously disappointed. 

I wanted a break from Big Chemo so badly.

The doc first suggested changing things up completely and having me start FOLFOX and avastin.  I don't want to do FOLFOX unless I absolutely have to.  I hate it.  He thought that maybe we could continue FOLFURI and try Avastin instead of Erbitux.  So the plan at this moment is for the doc to consult with the oncologist from Atlanta and also with an oncologist he knows in Dallas.  My doc will call me sometime on Friday and we'll figure things out.  I have a tentative appointment to start chemo back up next Wednesday.

But hey, guys, my liver is totally fine!

I just don't even know what to think.  I'm sad, of course.  And frustrated.  I knew this whole cancer thing wouldn't be easy.  Right now I'm eating oreos and feeling sorry for myself.

Sometimes I wish I could peek at the end of the story to know why.  What is the point of the struggles I have right now?  Would it be easier if I knew? 

Well, I'm going to find out how long I have to stay out of the pool if I get a tattoo really quick this weekend.  And I'm also contemplating a high raw diet.  And somebody needs to educate the children, I suppose.  :)

I would appreciate positive thoughts and prayers.


  1. I guess there's a reason I've been thinking more about you and decided to catch up on your blog. You have a lot going on right now, what with the scan and the move! Dallas! Is that where MD Anderson is or is it in Houston? Good thing you like the heat. Hugs to you as you face another big upheaval -- bound to bring both difficult and wonderful changes to your lives. Meanwhile, lots of sorting and packing. Does it help to have a big project like that along with the scan results and change-up of your chemo regimen? A distraction? Or too much all at once? I just want you to know that even though I'm sketchy at keeping in touch and keeping up on your doings you are on my prayer list morning and night. I'm thinking of you and your family and holding you up to the light. You rock, Sheri, and you are an inspiration to so many people who read these entries and know that you can have a life with cancer, a life with an ostomy, a life well worth living.
    Love, Sarah

  2. Oh my dear friend, I am so sorry and angry at cancer. You are the most amazing and inspirational person I have ever met. You will continue to be on my thoughts and prayers. Much love to you and your family.

  3. Julie and Larry said... My dear daughter, I had a really hard time holding it together when we talked. I guess I was expecting better news. I know you were expecting better news also. You are so amazing!! I am amazed at how I can Google " I'm Sorry for Cursing" and your blog site appears. You have been an inspiration for so many people as you blog your journey. Your journey has been long and tough, but you continue to fight the fight. I will continue to persistently pray, and have others pray also. I am excited that you are moving to Dallas! Like you said when we talked, you believe you are going to Dallas for a reason. I wish we knew what that reason was. We look forward to seeing You, Eric, Reese and Eli in Dallas in the Spring! I selfishly wish you lived down the street, so I could give you a great big Hug!!! I just want you to know that I love you with all my heart!! You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Love, Mom and Dad

  4. Sheri- I am very sorry the news wasn't better. We think about you guys all the time, and will continue to do so. Also... Dallas ROCKS!!
    Mike S.

  5. Sheri, I've been following your blog for a while after seeing your link on colon club.

    This news makes me really angry. Stupid cancer.

    I hope that your docs will be able to come up with a plan that works and is tolerable for you. I'm on FOLFOX now (and I hate it) and know just what you mean about wondering whether a look into the future would affect our decisions.

    You are in my thoughts. In the mean time...little kid hugs are the only medicine that works reliably for me. I know you're getting lots of those.

  6. I'm so sorry about the news. Sending all my thoughts and prayers!

  7. I love you, Sheri. You're so strong!

  8. I had hoped for better news for you, too. You are in my thoughts and prayers much more often than you know. Hang in there, hug your beautiful babies and I'll keep the prayers coming.
    Sara (and the kiddos)