Aren't you glad we get to start a new day every day? And that we get a chance to work on things and try to be better people?
Yesterday after my onc appt was rough, I won't lie. My little guy was testing, testing, testing and by the time Eric walked in the door, I was done. I cried and cooked dinner. I drank two very strong amaretto sours (tall glass, whooooo!). I calmed down and chilled out. After dinner I ignored the world and did some sewing (and continued drinking). I browsed through my new VegNews magazine. I laid down and read with Reese. Eli and I talked about how tomorrow is a new day and we both can start over.
This morning I woke up and a thought popped into my head. Life is going to throw stuff at us, big stuff, small stuff. I can't control that. What I can control is my attitude and my choices. One of the people on colonclub who I greatly admire for her strength has a signature that goes something like this: You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf. Isn't that a great way to put things? It's so true. This is an imperfect world full of imperfect circumstances. I can pitch a fit and booze it up like I did last night, or I can choose to do something different with my time and energy.
I'm not saying that I don't have emotions about what is happening. There are a shit ton of emotions, I guarantee you. And that's okay. I'm allowed to grieve the circumstances I find myself in. It's perfectly all right for me to be pissed off about this situation. But what is my choice about my attitude going to be?
I am not going to let this get me down. I will use my energy to fight to be here for my husband and my children. I'm going to rock on with life.
I very much appreciate all the kind words and virtual hugs yesterday. They were needed muchly.
Today is another day!