Wednesday's Chemo Trip

The long version, y'all.

Eric and I dropped the kids off at about 9:15 and headed to the cancer center.  I signed in and waited.  We got called back to do vitals, then were ushered to the blood draw room.  The blood draw lady didn't have any bandages without that icky itch inducing white stuff on the edges, so she just taped it up.  She put us in an exam room and we waited.

The doc came in and we talked about low white counts and low neutriphils.  My neutriphils are up to 900 (from being in the high 600s last week).  The doc waffled about chemo, clearly wanting to see how we felt about it.  Eric and I cracked some jokey jokes, but this doc isn't very jokey like our last one.  In the end, we decided to do chemo because I'll be getting the shot on disconnect day, and then we'd see where I was the next week.

I can't believe I was championing TO DO chemo, but I was.  I can't decide what's scarier, a higher risk of infection or the cancer growing in my lungs.  Of course it's not good to have a crashed immune system.  The doc suggested taking an antibiotic, just in case.  I wasn't crazy about that, but he wrote the script "just in case."  Consequently, Eric did some research last night about low white counts and low neutriphils, and maybe I'll take the damn cipro.  It's, well, it's kind of scary.

Anyhoo, since we decided to do chemo, the doc let us go, saying he was considering calling me up in a few days to make sure I'm okay, and urging us to go to the ER if I spike a fever.  I assured him that I've gotten really good at knowing my body, and I will definitely take action if anything seems off to me.  I'm not sure he believed me, but it's true. 

The chemo lounge is kind of full by 11am, so I didn't get my good seat in the corner.  The seat I had was kind of a pain in the ass because every time I wanted to get up, I had to squeeze back behind a piller to unplug my Tower of Drugs.  And I was pretty much in the middle of the room and I KNOW people were looking at me and wondering why someone so young was in a chemo chair.  I wonder that too, older people, I wonder that too. 

It was pretty uneventful.  Eric hung around until my benedryl nap.  I didn't really sleep, I just dozed.  I guess I was too keyed up to sleep still.  When the benedryl started wearing off, I finished watching The Changeling (which was kind of a disappointing movie because of the ending, but I won't spoil it.  Also, I love Angelina Jolie, but those hats, man.  They were distracting.)  Eric popped back in with a bean burrito from Taco Bell (tomatoes, no cheese).  It tasted okay, but reminded me of chemo so I don't think I'll ask for one again.  Eric left to go pick up the kids.  I watched some Aqua Teen Hunger Force but it was hard to keep my eyes open.  More Ipod, more trips to the bathroom, and then it was time to go.

The nurse eyed the tape over my port needle and said, "You can't go home like that, it's unacceptable."  I explained that I needed the tape without the white itchy stuff and they don't have nice things like that upstairs.  (okay, I didn't exactly say that, but it's what I was thinking)  He removed the tape, still kind of shaking his head, put the right bandage on, and hooked up my pump.

I have an appointment on Friday to remove the pump and get a shot.

The day or so before chemo, the kids were more whiny and fussy.  Eric asked me if they would get used to this.  I said that it might help for ME to get used to this.  I think it would be better for the kids if I could somehow not get so keyed up before chemo.  I don't know how to do that.  I know what it's like, it's no big deal.  There's just something about willingly filling my veins with poison that doesn't sit well with me. 

I'll keep doing what I've been doing, taking my vitamins, pushing protein, exercising, eating good foods.  My goal is to walk Friday, walk Saturday, and then run on Sunday.  Ambitious?  Maybe. 

Positive Thoughts and Prayers?  Absolutely needed and appreciated.  Send some to my doc too, I hated to make him worry so much.