The Story of Alien Port II

Alien port junior?  It's not really smaller, but it is on my left side.  I can't have a silly port mess up my turtle tattoo.

Eric, the kids, and I arrived at the hospital just before 7am.  I had to deal with a copay (which I think is totally silly...why did I drive over there to pre-register last week?  So I could spend more time at registration??).  Then we all trooped back to radiology where I found out I had to have labs done.  At this point, Eric took the kids to go do some stuff, and I went on alone.

Labs were uneventful.  When I tried to use the elevator to get back down to radiology, it was broken.  A kind nurse showed me the way down the stairs.  I hardly had to wait at all before being called back to the procedure room.

So I walked in and the table was all laid out, and there were surgical instruments and all kinds of stuff I really didn't want to see.  I was directed to a little storage room to change.  After changing, I sat around on the table while people bustled around me, prepping for the procedure.  It was kind of freaky.  I've never been awake very long BEFORE things started.  One of the techs tried to start an IV, but that sure didn't work.  She said we should wait for one of the nurses.  The nurse tried (so that's twice on my left hand), couldn't get the IV to take, and moved to my right hand.  Everyone admired my new tattoo.  I spoke to the surgeon, who asked how the heck we ended up in Columbus (because we're not military).  He was nice and funny.  Of course there were the usual questions about my diagnosis, and then how old my kids are (I totally cried). 

Things started moving and I was asked to lay down.  One of the techs started to drap me, which completely freaked me out.  Again, not stuff I want to even be aware of, let alone watch.  The nurse gave me some meds and that calmed me down.  The surgeon asked if I was still wide awake, and I said I was, so I was given more drugs.  I WASN'T ASLEEP WHEN HE PUT THE PORT IN.  Don't worry, it didn't hurt.  But holy crap.  The actual port installation probably only took 15 minutes, but I could be wrong.  Although the drugs didn't put me to sleep, they were quite good.

After the surgery, the nurses brought Eric and the kids in, and we all went to a recovery room.  They made me stay there for almost two hours.  Another nurse brought me breakfast:  eggs, bacon, a biscuit, grits.  I made Eric and the kids eat some so it looked like I did, because it wasn't a very vegan friendly meal.  Oh well.  I drank the juice.

And that's about it.  I'm not supposed to get the bandages wet (what, no steri strips??), so the nurse said no showering for 5-7 days.  I'm also not supposed to run until it's healed.

No less than eight people said I was too young to be dealing with all this.  I KNOW, RIGHT? 

Stuff is starting to hurt, so I'll probably retire to my chair for a while.  It's a nice, sunny day here in Columbus.  A walk in a little while to get the mail is in order.