What is it about chemo weekends that makes me so weepy? Oh yeah, it's probably because it's a huge reminder that I'm sick. I manage to put it out of my mind a lot of the time, but when I'm actually feeling crummy, it's hard to forget. I get sad that I can't take the kids places and have to rely on others. I get frustrated that I can't do as much around the house. I know, I moan and groan about this every chemo weekend. It really, really bothers me. I think it's the hardest thing about having stupid cancer. There are so many things I just can't do.
I'll get over it. I know I need to rest, to let other people help. There are so many people eager to help, and I'm thankful for that.
Want an ambien update? Sure you do. So I took it again last night and I do think it helps me fall asleep somewhat faster, and it definitely helps me go back to sleep when I wake at night. Overall, so far, I think it's a good thing. That doesn't mean I like needing it. Because I don't. But sometimes you have to do what you have to do, and rest is important right now.
Now let's all send good stoma moving vibes. My guts are pretty slow right now, and I'm hoping they pick up in the next 24 hours. I hate it when my guts get slow. It makes my stoma sad when it's such hard work to output.