What did I decide?

Waiting on pins and needles? I chickened out and decided to continue with the white foam. The pain, I will admit, is the biggest reason. What can I say? I'm tough, but there are limits, and I've pretty much reached mine. Eric suggested I re-evaluate in a couple weeks. He's so wise.

I've felt so good today. There's so much going right. The weather is beautiful and the kids and I were able to get outside with some visiting friends. I'm nom nom nomming my way through some delicious vegan lasagna that I was very thankful to have felt good enough to make over the weekend. For the last couple days I've been able to do more around the house which makes me feel more like normal. Sleeping hasn't been great, but at least laying in bed is restful. I get a lot of thinking done at night.

It was pointed out to me that no matter how crappy things are, I seem to put a positive spin on them. I suppose that's true. If I couldn't see the funny side I think I would be in bad shape. There are times when I feel really down, and I hate those times. That's not me at all, not normally. Since I got on the happy pills, I feel so much better. I'm glad I had the wisdom to know when to ask for some help. I want to look to the positive. I think it takes more energy to bitch and complain all the time, and it's an icky feeling getting to that place. I hope I don't spend much time there over the next two-ish months. Plus, doesn't cancer win if I get all negative? I think so, and there's no way I'm letting cancer win. Not when I'm playing the game.

If I don't update much between now and Chemo Thursday, it's because I'm busy feeling good and taking advantage of that. Knowing that I'll feel crummy for days after chemo makes me want to cram in as much awesomeness as I can while I can. My plans for the next couple days include cleaning the kid room and perhaps cutting out some shorts for Reese so that I can sew the next time I'm feeling good. We shall see.