Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Tuesday after chemo must just be my designated weepy day. I cried after the kids left this morning because I wanted to be the one to take them somewhere fun. I cried a little while after that because I couldn't figure out what to eat. Now I'm crying again because a friend sent me a sweet message on facebook asking me how I'm doing. Maybe I just need to take a nap, I don't know.

I'm so glad the kids aren't here, that this isn't a replay of the last Tuesday after chemo. I don't know why today is the day when I feel overwhelmed and sad. I'm honestly feeling better, I'm not nauseated anymore. I'm just tired, and that isn't so bad. Sometimes everything just hits me really hard, that this is actually happening, that it's affecting me so much and my family so much.

It feels good to let everything out though. Maybe I don't do that enough. Part of taking care of myself is being sad sometimes, I think, letting myself feel sad. Letting myself feel whatever it is I need to feel. It's hard to do that, believe it or not. I'm trying to be strong so much of the time, I need to give myself a break. So today I'm going to be gentle with myself, and I'll probably take that nap.

Hey, readers, be gentle with yourselves today too. I think we all deserve that.

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