Thursday, March 25, 2010

Hey y'all! I think there's one more Friday in March, anyone wearing blue with me? Remember, March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month, so take a minute to remind your loved ones to get a colonoscopy if they need one, or get one yourself! It's not so bad, I promise. And you might get to see cool pictures of your colon! Good times, man, good times.

So yesterday I had a dressing change. My mother in law drove me, and the kids stayed home with Poppy. It's funny how things seem to work out for the best, because I ended up waiting way longer than I usually do. Nana had some work to do so luckily she didn't mind, and honestly, I didn't really mind either. I got one of the good rooms with a real bed and a tv (I didn't watch, but I thought it was nice that it was there). So I read magazines and enjoyed some quiet time while I waited. I didn't recognize half the people in US Weekly, I'm so out of the Hollywood loop! By the time it was my turn, my drugs were good and kicked in. Hah. It all worked out.

The dressing changes, for the most part, still hurt though. It's not as bad as it was the first handful of times, but it's not great either. The dressing was all pokey yesterday, and I ended up taking pain meds at bedtime because it was hurting me. I know this wound will heal, but why does it have to take so freaking long?? I feel like I'm dealing with so much. I try to remember that there are people in way worse situations than I am, but sometimes I still feel really crappy about everything. I'm always telling people that you can't really compare one person's pain and bad times to anothers because what's bad for someone else might not be a big deal to me. Or the things that I struggle with might be a cake walk to someone else. Life shouldn't be a contest for who has the shittiest situation. I try not to get bogged down by the "Why me?" question, but sometimes I still ask it.

Four more rounds of chemo. Hopefully not too long and I'll be free of the wound vac. I can do this. I have to do this.

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