Creepy

I'll tell you what's creepy. Pulling the gauze out of your ass wound, that's what. I took my first wound vac free shower this evening, and opted to remove the gauze myself. Gah. I have a new appreciation for anyone who has to do anything related to my ass.

Oh all right, it wasn't that bad. But man. Sometimes my body doesn't feel like MY body, know what I mean? Between the ass wound and the chemo, it's just all around strange. It's frustrating to have to rely on others to pack my wound, but at this point there's no way I could do it myself. Maybe when a long q-tip doesn't have to be used to shove the gauze in...oh I'm sorry, was that a TMI? Hah. Gotcha.

If this wound could heal up super fast, that would be great. I don't like the leaking, I get self concious about the pad shifting. The wound doesn't hurt all the time, but I'm finding that at the end of the day, it's kind of ouchy. It's actually more difficult to sit in hard chairs. I have no idea why. Maybe the overall pain of the wound vac used to distract me from the ass wound pain? I don't know.

It's going to be okay. But 4-6 more months of this nonsense sucks. I hope this is the last bump in the road, because I don't know if I can deal with any more.