I've been at the cancer center pretty much all day. I actually got home around 3pm and would have updated right away, but I needed some time and Eli needed some attention. Sometimes I need a little space from results.
The results of the scan weren't terrible, but they weren't super good either. 10% growth, a couple of millimeters in some of the tumors in my lungs, which is considered within the margins of error. The doc said he wasn't worried, but he didn't call this scan stable either. Everyone is assuring me that it could be as simple as the person doing the measuring being a different person this time. The plan is to keep on the same chemo and wait and see.
So it's kind of medium news. I guess. Honestly, I'm disappointed. I pitched a bit of a fit in the car before leaving the cancer center. I feel like I'm a good person, I have a nice family who needs me, and why do I have to keep going through this? Deep down, and once I got some space, I know that this has nothing to do with how good of a person I am.
I'm feeling really down right now. That's not really a good mindset to go into chemo with, but what can you do? This isn't all sunshine and roses, it's real and sometimes real is ugly. Please pray that I can lean on God to help me straighten my head out and get ready for tomorrow.