Tuesday, July 19, 2011

So are you waiting on the edge of your seat to see if I ever got out of my funk?

I think I did.  There are good days and bad days, but that's normal for anyone.  At any rate, I'm hanging in there.

Actually the most annoying thing in my life right this moment is dealing with scheduling and the clinic.  You'd think after all these months it wouldn't be a big deal.  I feel like I'm speaking another language sometimes when I talk to these people.  All I want to do is cancel my appt for next Wed, and reschedule for the Wed after that, have my onc appt in the morning and do my Little Chemo after that.  Is that really so hard?  Really?  Is it?  And if so, can I schedule out a few weeks, maybe a month at a time?  I'm so sorry that I have CHILDREN and need to arrange care for them.  I always thought I was ahead of the game because I don't have an outside job to work around.  Honestly, it would be nice if the person scheduling would, instead of being a snotty beeyach would acknowledge that it all sucks.  Just tell me you are sorry for what I'm dealing with and in a nice way ask how you can help.  I feel that I'm a reasonable person, I get that schedules fill up, and I get that I'm not the only person at the clinic.

Frustrating.  And when I encounter a snotty attitude like I did last week, I just want to lash out.  My kids and husband didn't ask for this shit.  We're all depending on having appointments on WEDNESDAYS, can we just make that work somehow?

I don't know...part of it too for me is that I'm tired of dealing with it ALL.  It makes me weary.  It makes me worry.  It makes me wish I could run away (preferably to the beach).

Well, I have things to do today, which include building Hogworts castle and teaching my kid some math.  If you have big hugs and positive thoughts for tomorrow (which is a Big Chemo day), I'll take 'em.

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