Sometimes it's hard to find balance. I think that's true of everyone, not just me who has cancer. I told Eric last night that one of the most frustrating things for me about my life right now is how much time the Cancer Center sucks up. Every Wednesday. Every other Friday. Feeling sick for the better part of five days. Spending some of my Feel Good days preparing for when I'm going to be sick. Trying to see friends as much as possible while I'm feeling good. Squeezing in sewing and homeschooling. Going out and exploring our surroundings. Cleaning and baking and laundry.
I'm not saying that I like or dislike these things. I want to do everything, but even before I know that wasn't possible. Prioritizing helps, of course, and I find that overall I'm good at that. But it sucks to put things I really enjoy at the bottom of the list. Or to find that things get pushed to the bottom inadvertently in favor of things that probably aren't as important.
It's always good to have a reality check, like the one I got from Eric yesterday. I was all ready to sew all afternoon, ignore the arguing kids, and just do my own style of moping because I have Big Chemo this week. Then Eric said we were going somewhere and doing something. At first I admit I wasn't thrilled, but I decided to go along with it. After a little driving around, we ended up at the Columbus Museum looking at cool Civil War stuff and laughing our asses off as the kids played with giant legos. We went out to eat to celebrate Father's Day. And you know, it was a really fun afternoon. I'm glad Eric took the lead and got us out of the house.
So, you know, balance. Is every single thing I want or need to do going to get done? Probably not. Is it worth it to shift the prority list and be open to adventure? Absolutely.
What's in store for today and tomorrow? Oh you bet there's a list. But I'm going to try shifting things around, maybe take the kids for a walk and a swim instead of freaking out about their incredibly messy bedroom. We'll figure it out, and it will be okay.