I'm doing better, emotionally. I spent some time alone Wednesday evening while the fam was at church...I prayed a lot, trying to figure out why the walker bothers me so much. And then it hit me (and no, I didn't fall down). Pride. I've always said things like, "The people in the cancer center waiting room look so much more sickly than I do" or have felt sorry for people who can't walk. I've been proud that I was strong enough to handle chemo infusions. Giving God the glory? I'm not so good at that.
I'm not saying that God struck me down to punish me. I don't think God is like that. God loves us all so so much. So why is this happening? Maybe to help someone else. Maybe to help me. God cares more about my character than my comfort, y'all. Maybe something in my character needed work.
Anyway, I do have a walker which the church generously gave me to use. It has wheels and brakes and helps you get off the floor if you end up there. It's helping me to be much more confident in walking around, that's for sure. And at home I can put it in strategic places where I know I have trouble (bed, I'm looking at you). It's a blessing.
In other news, I have an MRI scheduled next week, just to make sure there aren't any sneaky tumors causing trouble with my legs.
Thank you always for your prayers. It means a LOT.