There are so many different kinds of tears. I have cried happy tears and sad tears and frustrated tears and angry tears in my life. Last night my tears were angry. Angry because of the unfairness of everything. Angry at the injustice of the world.
I realize that life isn't fair. Lots of times bad things happen for seemingly no reason. I feel that I have quite a handle on what fairness means, and that fair for one person doesn't equal fair for another. I get it. At least I think I do.
I also get that it's okay to mourn change, that it's okay to feel sad that some things in my life are never ever going to be the way they were. Some of those changes don't bother me. Some of those changes are frustrating and irritating and lead me to angry tears.
I don't want to get stuck in the longing to have things returned to the way they were. I really don't. I'm working hard to continue to change the things I can and to accept the things I can't change. But I think once in a while, it's okay to just cry and mourn and be angry.
Stupid cancer. I miss the days before it was on my radar. I miss the days before it affected my family. I miss the days before it made me cry. Stupid stupid cancer.
yep ditto to that post
ReplyDeletestupid cancer
I'm sorry there are so many tears, wish we could take all of this away. Hug your beautiful kids for me.
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Oh, Sheri. There are awesome parts of life, but sometimes I just don't get it. However, you are my strong, beautiful friend and if anyone can beat this and come out better for it, it's you. Please let me know if you need anything. Things should have calmed down for me by early next week when the service is done and family has left. Any word when you go to Atlanta?
ReplyDeleteHello Sheri. We're close friends with Kim Ann, and she recommended your blog when she first found you. We love your style of communication, honest reflection, and attempts to make us all better through this experience. We take your advice frequently and want to thank you for putting things in perspective. You and your family are in our prayers. Sending a big hug your way...Kosta and Allison
ReplyDeleteand Julie said... I have also cried many tears of joy, tears of sadness, tears of fear, tears of anger. I have had a very hard time not crying when I think of what you have to deal with, cancer again. I will continue to pray for you. I am praying for a miracle to happen in your life, not only that the cancer would be healed, but that you would hear God knocking on the door to your heart and that you would accept Him into your life. I truly believe that God made it possible for you to move to Georgia. I also believe that you met Hannah for a reason. Maybe the Cancer Center in Atlanta is also in God's plan. Maybe it is part of the miracle. I don't know what God has in store for any of us, but I do feel His presence in my life. He gives me the faith to continue to pray for you, to believe that He has a bigger plan for your life than you can ever imagine. I really believe that we each have a purpose here on earth. Even though we don't know what that purpose is. I believe that we should try to find out what our purpose is. We should live our lives according to our purpose. Just know that we are praying for you, for a miracle to happen in your life. We love you, and want to help you any way we can. We love you Sheri!!! Love, Mom and Dad
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