I was all ready to post a huge rant about all the crappy things and feelings I have been having for the past couple of days. The 2-3 days before chemo are sucktastic, and you almost got to hear about it. Then I stopped. I took Reese to her art class. Eli and I got some snacks and sat outside (because it was in the 60s today, yo). I looked up at the clouds in the sky. I remembered something I read recently, that doubts and fears and sadness come from the evil in the world. Maybe this is hokey, but picture a little devil on my shoulder trying his hardest to make me forget all the good things that are happening in my life. While I was sitting outside gazing at the clouds, I took a deep breath and realized once again that I am not alone in my struggles. All I have to do is ask, and I can feel the peace and calm.
So now I have my head on straight. My priorities have been switched around. Do I want to go to chemo tomorrow? Uh. NO. But you know what? I can do all things through God who strengthens me. And I am relieved because of that.
Did I mention that my next CT scan is scheduled? January 25th, it is your lucky day! Whoohooo!
Since I do have chemo tomorrow, I have a few more things to attend to tonight. After that, I plan to relax with my children and try to stay awake so I can get a big hug and a kiss from my husband.
Prayers welcome and appreciated!!!