Sunday, October 3, 2010

The gauze is out!

The missing one, that is. Yeah, freaking FINALLY. And only because Eric is The Awesome.

I pretty much hate my ass wound. I'm tired of dealing with it. Blech.

Our next course of action will be to call a wound/ostomy nurse. And coincidentally, we got one of those packets of advertising that included an ad for a wound/ostomy nurse! How crazy is that? It's a sign that we should call her.

All right, I don't know if it's a sign. But I'll call tomorrow and see when I can get in. My master plan is to see what she thinks about the wound itself, explain how we've been caring for it, and then ask her about some of the ideas that you kind readers have suggested.

If the wound heals as the surgeon suggested it would, I think I still have a bit of time. Perhaps I just need to be patient? I don't know.

I do know I miss the "good old days" when I didn't worry about my body. I get weary worrying about getting enough protein for good healing. I get weary bugging Eric to change my dressing all the time (even though I know he totally doesn't mind, he kicks so much ass). I just am, as I mentioned in my last entry, tired of all this. I feel like my body is a stranger, that it's not mine anymore. It's very hard.

How do you get your body back after something like this? I think I can now empathize with new mothers who complain that they want their body back. It's a crummy feeling. I don't like it.

Deep down I know I will muddle through all this and come out okay. I've gone through a lot of bad times and feelings and come out okay.


  1. If you ask me (and you didn't, but here it is ;-)) it will just take time to get used to your body again; to be able to really relate to it again. You had your old body for 32 years before all this changing around, and you can't expect to be in touch with your new body now in less than a year. Too blunt I know, but right or wrong, it is what it is, and I am not here to be America's Next Top Best Friend!

  2. I think you should look at the colondar 2 years ago it might have been last year. All the models had ostomies. Even the new 2011 colondar has one model with an ostomy. I am now 8 years out of the ap resection. I still wish for my old body but I have gotten used to the new normal. Just from what I have read I think you have done a great job getting on with your life. I think once your wound heals and you don't have to do the packing of gauze you will feel alot better. So make it a point to get some good answers from different sources as to how you can help your wound heal. I have heard of some people getting hyperbaric treatment but that can be exspensive you insurance might should cover it.