Unfortunately. Not all bad, but not all good.
My liver is clear. Yay liver!!
However, there are a couple spots on my lungs. You can bet your ass I started bawling when the PA read that from the CT scan report.
BUT. The way colorectal cancer tends to spread is to the liver first, then the lungs. The doc is hopeful that the spots will turn out to be scar tissue.
The spots are too small for biopsy, so the best we can do is get another CT scan in three months so the doc can take another look. He's also going to look at the images from my Sept 09 PET scan. For some crazy reason, there's no CT scan of my chest from last September. There were chest xrays and the PET, but no CT. So the CT scan we did most recently will be the base line scan.
I spent a good chunk of the day feeling...defeated. Scared. Angry. Sad. Helpless.
Then a helpful and awesome friend pointed out to me that there are lots of things I can do between now and January. I can continue the yoga I do and meditate on being healthy. I can boost my immune system. I can keep working on getting strong through exercise. I can love my family and friends. I can live my life.
She is absolutely right.
Am I still feeling sad and overwhelmed and crappy about all this? Of course. Fuck you, Rectal Cancer and your after affects. You big jerk, you.
But I have a plan and some direction. I have a ton of support and prayers and positive thoughts. I have awesome family and friends.
So yeah. That's the deal right now.