Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Trying not to think too much

Chemo tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it at all. It's so hard to go to the cancer center and get pumped full of crap that is going to make me sick. All the anticipationg and freaking out is gone, I'm just annoyed that I have to go. Irritated. Pissed off. It's not fair.

I have a feeling I can use that anger to power through it. I'll do your shitty chemo because I have to in order to get healthy, but man, I sure don't want to.

You know what else kind of sucks? Planning to be sick. Rounding up people to help with the kids because I know I won't be able to take care of them. It makes me sad every single time. Don't get me wrong, I'm so so glad there are people who can and will help. I just wish I didn't need the help.

But I'll get through it. I'm just feeling cranky that I have to do it at all.

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