"I don't want to go," I whined to Eric, "What if I just don't show up?"
"Do you think they're going to come for you?" he replied.
We both laughed, and I got my stuff together. That's how my Thursday Chemo Day started.
It was picture pages day at the cancer center. The psychologist drew me a diagram of emotions, thoughts, and actions. It looked a little familier, maybe I saw it in psych 101? Not dissing my psychologist, she's been very helpful. More impressed with myself that I remembered something from an 8am class a billion years ago. She's a good person to talk to.
After that appt, I meandered to Starbucks, where I got lame-o decaf coffee. Guess what? It still tasted good, and didn't make my heart race. I also got a smoothie.
Up to the lab for blood work. The nurses are always so cheerful and nice and careful.
Then down to the waiting room, to wait of course. Things actually moved a lot faster today. I chatted with a friend of mine who is counting down the chemo treatments until she is done. I pray that she really is done after that. She reminds me a little of my grandma.
I go to see the doc's fellow again. We had a conversation about my trip and how critical it was to get back on chemo. I am willing to start the Thursday after we get back (on a Wed). In his explanation, the fellow drew me ...wait for it...a picture!!! It was actually a scary diagram with death at the top (what? I guess he was just being honest). So while he's drawing all his squiggly lines, my eyes are stuck on the gap between where I am and the death number. The gap was sizeable, but you know. Ugh. Anyway, he basically told me that taking a month off would be good for my body so it could heal, and good for me so I can get a break. This means over a month with no chemo!!!! Excited am I? Of course!! I go back for a CT scan on the 28th and chemo on the 29th.
Last night I was pretty tired, and slept for about an hour after we got home from the clinic. Then I wasn't super tired at bedtime so I read and chatted with Eric.
This morning I woke up and was shocked to see it was 9am. Right away I asked Eric (who was working) if the kids ate breakfast. He had pointed them to the leftover pizza around 7am, and I guess they were happy after that.
If there are any typos in this entry, it's because my hands are slow this morning. The right one is very cold tingly. It's not even cold in here. The fingers just don't want to do what I want them to do, I guess.
Thank you always for the prayers. There is a plan, and we're all part of it, you know.
Guess what? I love you, and think about you every day. :)
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