I'm feeling better. It took a lot of prayer, a pep talk from a dear friend, and time. I still have my moments, of course. This cancer stuff is hard. I'm at times taken off guard by how hard it is. One would think that after three years, I would know, but I'm still struck with moments of, "Holy shit, this is crappy and unfair and it sucks!"
The thing is though, I have a choice about how I'm going to deal with cancer. I think the easy choice is the Pity Party road where I moan and wail and complain and hide. It's much more challenging to get up in the morning and be present with the kids. It's much more difficult to look past myself and care for others. That's what I want to do. I want to live life, not escape it. I always tell people life is too short for nonsense, I need to take my own words to heart.
I'm not saying that I'll never feel sad or disappointed or angry about my situation. I maintain that it's perfectly okay to feel how you feel. And when it's time to move forward, I choose to do that without looking back.
So yes, feeling better. Ready to take on chemo tomorrow.