I did yoga today. I know, I know, what's the big fuckin' deal? I haven't done yoga since January 5th, 2010, the day before my surgery. Wait...I might have done it the morning of my surgery. I can't remember. Anyway, it's been a long time.
It's been a long time for many reasons. Some of them physical, some of them mental. Physically, the ass wound kept me from doing a whole lot of things. I'm almost completely pain free now (yay!!), but for the longest freaking time the pain kept me from doing much of anything. Mentally, yoga was something I did to center myself, to calm down, to relax. Doing the yoga DVD brings back a lot of memories and thoughts I had during treatment. I don't like it. I don't like to think a lot about treatment, about how hard I had to fight. Maybe I need to switch to a different DVD?
At any rate, it felt good. I'm soooooooo inflexible though. Yikes. The nice lady on the DVD keeps telling me that I should focus on the here and now. Don't worry about what I used to do. It's important for me to hear that. When I'm working with a post cancer body, I get frustrated because I'm not at the point I was. It will happen though, I think. I'll get stronger, I'll be able to do all the things I used to do and then some.
I was talking to some friends about my experience, and they were shocked that it hasn't even been a full year since diagnosis. All the things that happened took place in the span of nine months. It is shocking, when I think about it. How did all that happen in such a short time? It really is overwhelming at times, when it all comes rushing into my head.
And now what? Well, I'll be seeing a family doctor on Wednesday. Hopefully she will be awesome, and will have the hook up to an awesome oncologist. One of these days I should go find the wound care nurses for my ass wound. Probably a quickie CT scan in the fall as well as a colonoscopy. So the adventure isn't over, it's just sort of in limbo right now.
How am I? I'm hanging in there. I take no pills except B12 and vitamin D. That's right, people. No pain pills. No sleeping pills. No prozac. It feels wonderful to NOT need all those pills. I don't think about cancer very much, only sometimes. Life is good.