Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Cancer, you are not fair

Seriously, why don't murderers and child molesters and puppy kickers get cancer? Why do mothers, daughters, granddaughters, fathers, sons, grandfathers...why do they have to draw the cancer card out of the deck of life? It makes no sense. Why does this happen to good people? Why does it happen to people who are helping others, who are raising children, people this world really needs.

I'm not wishing cancer on ANYONE, by the way. I wouldn't. Not on my worst enemy. Not on anyone. It's just not fair that a mother of children would have to hear the words, "You have cancer."

I wish I could say that I'm not scared for myself anymore. I wish I could say that it's all behind me and I'll just forget about it. Sadly, I can't. There's always that nagging in the very back of my mind, telling me that maybe my liver has spots. Maybe something got into one of my lungs. Please don't try to tell me it won't happen. I *know* the odds are on my side with recurrance. I KNOW that. Knowing doesn't help my mind not go there.

Could I even do more chemo? Could I deal with another surgery? I hope I never have to be tested that way.

Big hugs to my sisters and brothers in cancer. It seems we all could use a big hug today.


  1. and Julie said ...My dearest Sheri, Cancer is not fair, and I guess I would always wonder too if it is coming back. I believe God has a plan for your life, and I believe that GA is a part of that plan. We didn't want to see you go, but you are there for a reason. You are going to meet Hannah for a reason also. I truly believe that things just don't happen, our Father in heaven takes care of us. And you were entrusted into His care when you were a little baby. You are very strong, and you have given your courage and strength to many people dealing with Cancer. You may not know the impact of your walk in life, but you have impacted many lives. You have even influenced my life! I thank God every day for you, and your family! So Big hugs to you!!! Love Mom

  2. I know all the fears that you are feeling right now. Alot of them hit about 6 months post treatment. The radiologist I went to is a cancer survivor himself. He told me right after treatment that the farther away you get from treatment the less you think about it. He was right 100 %. I still post to a cancer forum but often I almost forget I had cancer myself. I went thru the chemo, radiation and ap so you might think it would be hard to forget but I often do. You are doing the right thing getting your life back to normal and being a wife and mother again. Before you know it cancer will take a seat on the back burner. Even to this day I still get some scan anxiety and it has been 8 years for me. A few weeks ago I caught my tailbone on the edge of a table just one of those how did this happen situations. I have had alot of pain and some bruising for 10 days. My first thought was run in and get a scan and then I realized okay you did not have pain until the minute you got hurt and this too will take time to subsided.