March is almost here!

Although some patients never experience any symptoms of colon cancer until the cancer has advanced to a late stage, there are several signs and symptoms that you should report to your physician if you have noticed them for more than two weeks. These may indicate the presence of colon cancer:
• A change in bowel habits: diarrhea, constipation, or stool consistency changes
• Narrow, “pencil-thin” stools
• Rectal bleeding: blood in your stool on more than one occasion
• Persistent, abdominal discomfort, such as cramps, bloating, or pain
• A feeling that your bowel doesn’t completely empty
• Sudden, unexplained weight loss or loss of appetite
• Constant fatigue

From this website, which has more great information about colorectal cancer: http://www.humed.com/coloncenter/fact.shtml

Pay attention to your body, and if you notice something isn't right, get to your doctor. Is it embarrasing talking about your ass to a stranger? It can be, but you know, I have to tell you, it's worth it. I don't even want to think about the progression of my cancer if I hadn't gone in when I did.

So as we start this busy week, remember that this Friday is Wear Blue Day! Wear your blue proudly! Want to do other things tohelp? Send some people to my blog, check out colonclub.com to read some inspirational stories of cancer survivors, or just vow to pay extra special attention to your body this month. Eat something healthy, get some exercise, relax.

Here's hoping for an okay dressing change tomorrow, and I have chemo this week too. Wait, wasn't I just there?? Sigh.

Let's NOT talk about cancer.

Let's talk about how much I covet this bag pattern: http://www.youcanmakethis.com/info/handbags/Ladybug-Diaper-Bag-.htm

Or let's talk about how I've spent hours today perusing raw food blogs and it really seems like something I could see myself doing someday. I'm already a vegan with a vitamix, it wouldn't be that much of a stretch. I would, however, need to learn how to use my dehydrator. Don't worry, I have books on my hold list that will help me.

Oh oh! We could talk about how awesome my friends are. I had a friend take my kids to the YMCA today. She already has three children of her own, but offered to also take on my hooligans. It was the sweetest offer ever, and the kids had a blast.

The Olympics! Let's talk about that! Did you see the snowboarding? Holy shit, it's amazing what some of the athletes can do. I could never ski down a hill super fast or speed skate, partly because I don't really have the desire. I have a lot of respect for people who enjoy that kind of thing and are willing to share it with us all.

We could chat about the tasty veggie burger mix I found in my pantry. I think it's from the rancid store (not really rancid food, just damaged goods or expired things...it's the best place ever), and I was pleasantly surprised at how delicious the veggie patties were with ketchup. I even got Reese to try them, and she said gleefully, "They taste like chickpea cutlets! I love chickpea cutlets!" Awww, a little future vegan!

I could mention my newest Netflix movie, Adventureland, which I don't remember putting on my list. It apparently features Kristen Stewert of Twilight fame, but that may or may not be why it ended up on the list. Ask me how I liked it after a few days, hopefully I'll get to it this weekend.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force! That's what I watched all afternoon. It's been ages since I watched some brain degenerative cartoons, it was a lot of fun.

I made soup today. Eric for some reason bought a whole bunch of broccoli, so I turned some of it into a creamy broccoli soup. It was so good, I think the kids may have even eaten it.

I think it's important once in a while to remember that I'm more than cancer, if only to remind myself that I'm still the same person I was before. It's so easy to get wrapped up in the diagnosis, the treatment, feeling crappy, etc etc etc. I don't know exactly what my life is going to bring me in the next few months, I get nervous talking about "when this is over" because there's always that chance for a setback we don't expect (hello, wound on my ass!). But man, when this is over, I'm going to take over the world! Well, maybe not the world, but definitely my kitchen to cook and the dining room table to sew.

Let's talk about March! Colorectal cancer awareness month!

Some facts:

• Colorectal cancer is the #2 cause of cancer death in the U.S.
• Over 150,000 Americans will be diagnosed with colorectal cancer each year.
• Colorectal cancer often has no symptom at all until it's at an advanced stage.
• Colorectal cancer is 80% preventable when detected early.
• You can reduce your risk through regular screening.
• Beginning at age 50 (or earlier if you have a family history), everyone should be screened for colorectal cancer.

So March is Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. I'm going to start hassling everyone about it because as we all know, I have rectal cancer. I don't want anyone I know or care about to be diagnosed with rectal cancer. In my not so humble opinion, the best way to catch colorectal cancers in young people is to be open to talking about your ass. Something going on back there that doesn't seem right? Suck it up, get to your doctor, and deal with it. Your doctor has heard it all, and he/she should be totally comfortable talking about your ass issues. Chances are you'll find out you have some other thing going on, but wouldn't it be better to know early?

March 5th is a day that has been set aside for people to wear blue for colorectal cancer awareness. I'll be wearing blue that day, and I'd like to invite my friends and family to join me. When people ask why you're wearing blue, feel free to share my story, my blog address, my email, whatever. Let's get the word out that colorectal cancer is NOT just some old person disease, that young people are fighting it too. If you like fancy t-shirts with slogans on them, cafepress.com has some great colorectal cancer shirts for supportive family and friends. Blue ribbon, people!!

This won't be the last time you read about Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month. Be warned, get out your blue, share the knowledge to help someone else.

I didn't cry today...

at least not at my wound dressing change. It's slowly getting easier, but it's still painful. I don't think it will ever not be. I think I'm at peace with that. I don't feel as anxious going anymore, it's just one of those things I have to do. The nurses are all nice and good at what they do, I think that helps a LOT.

I was exhausted today, could not keep my eyes open. I don't know if that was left over from chemo or from not being able to really nap after my wound dressing appointment or what. I hope tomorrow is better. Eric got home tonight, I ate dinner, and then passed out for two hours. It felt good.

I did get a little weepy after reading the sweet comment from my last post. I used to do so much around this place, and now Eric is doing most of it. He's mopping right now. I miss doing those mundane chores that I used to complain about, like Laundry Mountain. I do what I can, today I cleaned the bathroom and folded some clothes, but it feels like so little. I'm lucky to have Eric who is willing to jump in and take care of things that need doing. Someday I'm going to take back my house, and then watch out.

I miss sewing too, creating things out of fabric, fabric shopping, sorting my fabric hoard. I will concede that the dining room is cleaner when I'm not sewing, haha. Reese is going to need shorts this summer, I wonder if I'll be able to do that? I want to so badly. Sigh.

Five and a half months. That's how long it's been since I found out that I have cancer. I can't believe how much my life has changed, how my body has changed. How did I manage to get through the past bunch of months? A lot of times I don't feel strong enough for this. I'm struggling to stay upbeat and positive, but it's so so hard. I feel like I don't have things to look forward to, fun things. It's hard to go places and do things I'm used to doing. I went to a birthday party yesterday and was exhausted after an hour. It was uncomfortable sitting in a strange chair, I was feeling kind of icky.

I don't know. I'm going through the motions because I have to. I told Eric yesterday that I keep going to the wound dressing appointments because people keep driving me. But what kind of a drag is that to look forward to? It sucks.

I will get to the end of all this shit. The journey is just bringing me down right now, that's all.

It's been a little bit of a rough day. My stoma output has slowed way down (thanks a bunch, chemo...and perhaps IV iron too?), so I feel crappy because of that. I had intestinal cramps in the night from my guts trying to move things along. This morning I woke up with some nausea, so I took my pill for that. It sort of worked, but I still yakked up the prune juice and ginger tea I'd been drinking all morning. Nice, huh?

I got some more sleep and feel somewhat better. No more puking anyway. It's crummy feeling like this, I don't like it at all. I end up just laying in the chair, trying not to move around too much. Perhaps on Monday I'll call and get something different for the nausea.

Double pumping it, baby, yeah!

No, it's not really that fantastic. But it's not too bad either. I can actually wear my chemo pump, so I think that will be my strategy. Yes, even in bed. I cannot imagine getting up in the middle of the night to pee and having to untangle TWO pumps hanging from my headboard. Not to mention all the tubes. Ugh. Luckily, I'll be free of the chemo pump sometime after lunch on Saturday. I think if it was the 24/7 5fu like last time, I would freak out and probably need way more happy pills than I am currently taking.

So chemo today. Man, it was a long day. We arrived at the cancer center at about 8:45 and didn't leave until close to 4pm. My blood counts and junk were a bit on the low side, so my trip today involved a shot to help my body make more red blood cells, and IV iron. It's frustrating watching people come and go, getting their chemo done way faster than me. I think we might have been the last to leave this afternoon.

As far as side effects, nothing really earth shattering yet. I'm very tired, but that could be partly due to not sleeping well last night. I thought the wound vac dressing changes would distract me totally from chemo, but I guess not. It's stressful knowing that my body is being pumped with poison. I understand that it also helps, and I sure as hell don't want rogue cancer cells settling down anywhere else. I really putzed around this morning though, secretly wishing I could just not show up. This is only the second one, and I had to give myself a talking to, rembering that I'm not only doing this for myself. I have a husband and two children counting on me getting better. I'm doing it as much for them.

All in all, it was an uneventful day. Chemo is tedious and boring, that's for sure.